Perhaps being self-centered is like being one who looks at the sun instead of all that the light touches. And perhaps by centering ourselves, as the sun does, in complete darkness–the darkness of uncertainty, the depth of the mystery of who we are deep down, death–then we can look out, toward all manifestation, and see it as that light. The visible creation becomes the very glory of the invisible creator. But going into the darkness can be scary…

It’s no wonder we’re touched by fear–we’re half-blinded by the light of awareness. Anxiety seems to stem from this abuse of self-awareness. The over-use of self-reflection has this paralyzing effect on our creative, spontaneous self, which can’t feel free under the mirror-gaze of our analytical introspection. Indeed, this function is a tool of the mind for self-improvement, and the faculty developed in the 6th stage of human evolution (Virgo), to discriminate, analyze, and dissect. But this is done for the purpose of clarity, not criticism. Purity, not obsessive nitpicking.

This examination of the self is by its very nature scary, because it requires looking into the darkness of your heart. Reciprocally, when you enter an unknown experience in the world, you discover your heart’s response to it; this response is always spontaneous, and usually thrilling and enlivening (all of which are great ingredients for fear). Fear acts as an indicator that alerts you when your sense of self is about to expand. When fear strikes, it’s how you know that if you do the thing, your identity will be put on the line. The mystery of who you are is going to come to light a little more.
The struggle is so real because the survival instinct is hardwired in the body, and proves itself useful every day by keeping the body alive and away from death. But that essence behind life which is you is independent of the body and unaffected by death, and death and rebirth are a process well-known, and very useful to, the soul. Nature boldly displays the spiritual boldness of shedding, dying, and growing anew constantly in the works of her plants, animals, and minerals. This re-birth of the psyche is the primary concern for many religions, and the psychological need which religion tries to appease in man and woman won’t go away until he and she learns to do this on his or her own.

Romans 6:4-5 “…as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection.”

How do we make ourselves fresh in the continual newness of the present moment? Well, we take on a new experience every time we breathe in. We willingly die every time we exhale. We’re always doing it/it’s always doing us. The breath, both an automatic function of the brain and a process under our control, is our physical connection to spirit. Mercury, the personification of the breath, deity of the mind, was known as the “winged messenger of the gods,” because the breath carries the truth of what the present experience is trying to “message” you.

Breathe in your fear, create your way through it, and die as you would like to. Dedicate time to real introspection, like morning and evening, when it’s safe to look at the sun. Then go out and live constantly at the edge of your fear; your growth will be assured, and life is made exciting as a new you is continually encouraged to emerge. The emergence of the knowledge of our self will always be mysterious, but a knowledge of its processes can be revealed to our minds by the simple contemplation of analogy. The universally used zodiac has described the stages of our evolution in a helpful 12 steps. 

Travel can be scary. Partnership can be scary. Selfhood, family, duty–all departments of the human psyche can be imbued with the element of fear. Perhaps all along “fear” was just a sign that the Teacher was present, and we were simply at the threshold of our growth and salvation.

“Esoteric Astrology, however, is not only a symbolical interpretation of human nature, it is also a philosophy, by which the inner laws of nature are clearly explained, and the system in which we live is brought nearer to one’s understanding.” – Alan Leo, “Esoteric Astrology”

To learn more about the 12 stages of the psyche’s evolution, go here!